1
00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:34,521
Sara, it's a lighter. You can't
kill yourself with a lighter.

2
00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:43,562
Listen. I don't despise you, or find
you to be loathsome specimens.

3
00:00:43,650 --> 00:00:46,211
This isn't personal to me
in any way.

4
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:51,126
But I've heard everything you say
from a hundred other couples.

5
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:56,490
So please allow me to repeat:
Compatible personalities do not exist.

6
00:00:56,570 --> 00:00:58,527
When living together
for an extended period, -

7
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:01,842
- you end up repressing
the other person's personality.

8
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:05,321
Do yourself a favour:

9
00:01:05,410 --> 00:01:11,008
Get divorced. End this misery.
It'll be a mercy killing.

10
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:14,447
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it, Lars.

11
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:17,409
- You can't just leave!
- This session is over.

12
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:23,123
Malin can set up a new appointment.
Don't set fire to your hair.

13
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:07,850
Every morning he wished the door
to be a window on the 12th floor.

14
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:39,400
Damn it!

15
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:58,965
- Brother.
- Sister.

16
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:03,369
- What are you up to?
- Spending time with someone I despise, -

17
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,807
- yet prefer to anyone else I've met.

18
00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:09,610
You're by yourself,
in other words.

19
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,127
- What can I do for you?
- You have a date tomorrow.

20
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:17,682
- Sadly, yes.
- It's not "sadly", it's good.

21
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:20,239
Besides, you need a girlfriend.

22
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:24,449
Why is this blind date different from
the other 18 you've set me up for?

23
00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:27,540
Dag, "blind date" doesn't mean
getting blind drunk before the date.

24
00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:35,241
Actually, it does. And the alternative is
feeling too awkward to even show up.

25
00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:41,321
- So what's her name?
- I have to check my numbers...

26
00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:46,166
I've left a trail of destruction
working through your phone numbers.

27
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:51,006
My cats are like my kids.
They're so independent and devoted.

28
00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:55,403
Just like children,
but with adult brains.

29
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:58,801
- Is there anything wrong?
- No, no.

30
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:02,247
Carbonara, Dag? Really?

31
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:07,803
Do you have any idea
how many calories there are...

32
00:04:07,890 --> 00:04:12,521
I think all of Margareth Olin's
movies are brilliant.

33
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:20,086
Brilliant.
Take "My Body", for instance.

34
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:27,043
The way she takes a large canvas
to make such a small image, -

35
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:31,807
- representing a very large body.

36
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:36,370
Dag? Dag?

37
00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:43,124
They all said you were really nice.

38
00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:46,726
Please understand I don't want
any of this Adam and Eve stuff.

39
00:04:46,810 --> 00:04:50,360
If there is no one else in the
garden, just don't eat the apple.

40
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:55,002
You're just too sensitive, Dag.

41
00:04:55,090 --> 00:04:58,367
I've got to go.

42
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:02,729
- Listen, I love you.
- Then you're the only one. Bye.

43
00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:05,245
Bye.

44
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:20,760
I've always viewed my body
as a means of transporting my brain.

45
00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:24,400
I've long realised I'll never be
a rock star, or a great author, -

46
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,721
- but I have no problem with that.

47
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:30,360
Salieri once said of his
relationship to Mozart that God -

48
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,170
- had punished him with ability to
recognise, but not create greatness.

49
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,765
But I delight in that.

50
00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:40,367
I want to hear every great song and read every
great novel, and I love every second of it.

51
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:44,160
I want to devour the very best,
but I don't need to share it with anyone.

52
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:48,881
It's not that I hate myself,
I just really want to be alone.

53
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,641
Fucking hell!

54
00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:15,120
- Benedikt.
- Dag.

55
00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:18,366
All good?

56
00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:23,890
All good?

57
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:27,520
I just need to sleep here
for a few hours. Can I?

58
00:06:27,610 --> 00:06:30,603
- Why?
- I did it.

59
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,921
What did you?

60
00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:38,966
Hi, Benedikt Skovrand. I'm looking
for Mia Ballac, who arrived an hour ago.

61
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,485
- Just relax. You made it.
- Okay.

62
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,846
She's only about 4 cms.
Nothing will happen for a few hours.

63
00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:48,482
- Where is she?
- Room 6. Just go in.

64
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:06,447
- Hi.
- Hi.

65
00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:12,045
Hey, you.

66
00:07:17,650 --> 00:07:20,609
He's very energetic.

67
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:25,924
- A mini-Benedikt.
- Please don't name him that.

68
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:28,844
I'm sure we'll agree on something.

69
00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:32,640
Mia...

70
00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:46,003
You're doing great.

71
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:53,686
Mia, I...

72
00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:58,401
There is never a good time
to say this...

73
00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:02,643
I think we've...

74
00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:06,406
- That we've grown apart, Mia.
- Huh?

75
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:10,882
I'm just trying to do the right thing
by telling you.

76
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:15,969
I just think
we want different things.

77
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:20,681
For instance, you want to have kids.

78
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:26,483
I'm really sorry, Mia.

79
00:08:26,570 --> 00:08:28,880
I'm...

80
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,371
I'm not sure...

81
00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:38,481
I'm sorry...
I'll just leave the flowers here.

82
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:46,481
Sorry. Call me when you get out,
and we can take it from there.

83
00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:09,409
You fucking idiot.

84
00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:13,325
You've always told me
to finish with her.

85
00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:18,280
I said that two years ago! When you
started humping anything that moved.

86
00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:21,408
How stupid
can you possibly get?

87
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:25,484
I didn't want to give her
unrealistic expectations.

88
00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:28,290
You've sorted that, all right.

89
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:33,206
I need some sleep. I can't go home
in case my in-laws show up.

90
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:37,045
- You have to speak to her.
- Dag. She's from a family -

91
00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:41,647
- of Serbian butchers.
There's no way I'm going home now.

92
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:50,486
It's so weird.
I mean, you look normal.

93
00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:15,240
I'm home!

94
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:20,849
He's in the shower.
Welcome home. And thanks for this.

95
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:26,527
Eva! Hi!

96
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:32,688
Where have you been?
What have you been up to?

97
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:36,376
Travelling. I've been everywhere.
Like a gypsy.

98
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:40,848
- For 10 years!
- Yes. I brought you this.

99
00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:46,130
Jesus.
Did we look like this ten years ago?

100
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:51,684
Is all of this yours?

101
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:55,969
Yes, I guess so.

102
00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,827
- What do you do these days?
- I'm a mum and work in the pet shop.

103
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:03,723
- Still?
- Yes, the same one...

104
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:08,407
We live our lives as if every day
was the middle one.

105
00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:16,084
Hi, Theo. Could you not use a
bigger towel? We've got guests!

106
00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:19,208
Relax, mum.

107
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:22,406
Eva?

108
00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:25,130
- You clicked your tongue!
- Did I?

109
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:29,921
- You did!
- I'm all flustered. I meant it well.

110
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:34,562
- He's my son.
-  It's a compliment. He's well built.

111
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:40,283
- Nice.
- If that's what you think, I'd rather you lied.

112
00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:45,540
I can't. I can't lie anymore.

113
00:11:45,781 --> 00:11:52,641
- You're kidding, right?
- No, one morning I'd used my share.

114
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:56,929
So what happens if you lie?

115
00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:59,650
I throw up.

116
00:12:00,610 --> 00:12:04,490
Am I still this good looking?

117
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,801
Of course.

118
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,207
Good luck.

119
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:57,165
Nice carnations.

120
00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:08,360
Hi.

121
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,327
- It could have gone better?
- Sure could.

122
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:45,607
My mother-in-law is unusually
unforgiving even for a Serb.

123
00:13:48,050 --> 00:13:51,566
The bedding is still in the hallway.

124
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:58,522
<i>Morten has just given up.</i>

125
00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:00,841
<i>He does nothing at home.</i>

126
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:04,446
He does what I ask him to do.
If I ask:

127
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:09,047
"Could you please take out the rubbish right
in front oft you, as you're going out anyway."

128
00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:11,850
Or: "Please rinse your plate."

129
00:14:11,930 --> 00:14:16,447
He does it then,
and expects me to praise him.

130
00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:20,763
It's like having a teenage son.

131
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,648
I've become your mother, Morten.

132
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:28,406
And it sucks.

133
00:14:28,490 --> 00:14:34,626
You're probably thinking: "It takes two
to tango." And that I'm responsible too.

134
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:38,644
One evening last week,
I cooked dinner, and we drank wine, -

135
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:46,090
- and I thought we might actually
have sex. We haven't had sex in ages.

136
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:50,124
I go to bed all excited and wait for
him to join me. And nothing happens.

137
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:55,482
So I walk through the house to find
him, and end up in the garage.

138
00:14:55,700 --> 00:15:01,241
And that's where he is.
Jerking off.

139
00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:10,445
Good
Very good.

140
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:13,250
A great start.

141
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:16,846
And Morten,
what do you feel is the problem?

142
00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:20,844
Having to listen to this every day.

143
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:30,890
Have you considered
leaving each other?

144
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:34,600
Living alone is actually great
once you get used to it.

145
00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:37,489
Notice how inferior
you make each other.

146
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,166
There's nothing here
that could make someone else happy.

147
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:45,483
People ask: "What is hell?" This is hell.
Your relationship is chronically fatigued.

148
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:51,362
You work all day, and when you get home
to rest, you get even more drained.

149
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,807
Get your own place.
Then you can rinse your dishes, -

150
00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:58,440
- and you can jerk off in your garage
to your heart's content.

151
00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:02,319
Thoughts?

152
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:08,500
It's better to wake up alone
and know you're alone, -

153
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,300
- than waking up next to someone
and still be lonely.

154
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:23,084
- How were the new lights?
- They were a bit much.

155
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,004
Maybe you could
switch to 25 watts.

156
00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:30,881
- Home to an evening of solitude?
- No another date, unfortunately.

157
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:34,805
I know you're doing it for
your sister, but how do you cope?

158
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:38,566
- You being socially timid and all that.
- No. Pascal said:

159
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:43,645
"Despite the ability to lock all our misery in
the eye, as it suppresses us and strangles us, -

160
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:48,247
- we still have within us an
eternal instinct that uplifts us."

161
00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:50,970
- And you have that?
- Me? No.

162
00:16:51,050 --> 00:16:54,760
I use Valium.
Bye.

163
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:08,850
Don't mind me.
I'm going out again shortly.

164
00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:16,122
Where are you?
Are you hiding?

165
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:19,840
Let's check here. No...
There you are!

166
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:25,881
Yes, were you lonely?
"I figured you may be hungry."

167
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:29,600
Uncle Dag is always a bit peckish.

168
00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:35,448
"But just one Valium if you plan
to be in the office for 9. am."

169
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:45,162
The "date-shirt".
We all know how this will end.

170
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:48,926
How many has she
set you up with? 15?

171
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:51,889
- Huh?
- 19.

172
00:17:55,810 --> 00:17:58,848
That's right; you've become a dad!

173
00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:00,922
Me?

174
00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:04,447
Congratulations. How does it feel?

175
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:09,969
Well, it may not be mine.
We'll have to determine that first.

176
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:31,964
- Hi. Eva.
- Hi. Dag.

177
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:35,168
I know.
Marianne showed me your picture.

178
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:39,085
You were holding a large cod,
but I recognised you without it.

179
00:18:39,170 --> 00:18:43,084
She likes to make out
I'm a man of the wilderness.

180
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:47,528
That's the only fish I've caught
since school camp.

181
00:18:47,610 --> 00:18:50,523
And it was only to get out of
a wedding anniversary.

182
00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:53,300
- So I've heard.
- That I molest fish?

183
00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:57,649
- That I roll naked in their entrails?
- That you prefer your own company.

184
00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:03,041
It says in the good book: "Loneliness
is the largest community of all."

185
00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:07,283
The Bible also says that
the meek shall be rewarded in Heaven.

186
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:11,649
Maybe it's not the best
guidebook to life.

187
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:16,247
- Meaning?
- That the most irresponsible thing you can do, -

188
00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:20,244
- is to live as if this isn't
our only life.

189
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:26,510
I'd rather be pleasantly surprised
if I'm wrong. That's my thinking, anyway.

190
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:29,611
Let's just skip food and get
something to drink instead.

191
00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:36,330
- I have some red wine.
- That's great.

192
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:43,167
Where did Marianne find you?

193
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:45,446
We've met before.

194
00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:48,648
Marianne and I were best friends
when we were younger.

195
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,245
Ok, but where have you been
since then?

196
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:55,529
Everywhere. Mainly Goa,
these last few years.

197
00:19:55,610 --> 00:20:00,605
- Goa? No lie?
- No, you would notice if it was.

198
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,560
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

199
00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:32,641
<i>Benedikt! We're burning your stuff.</i>
<i>This is for dumping my sister!</i>

200
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:47,162
"Bergersen." One more floor to go.

201
00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:56,361
- Are you alive?
- Yes.

202
00:20:56,450 --> 00:20:59,443
- But not for long.
- Good.

203
00:21:06,810 --> 00:21:11,566
- What happens now?
- I go to bed and you go to bed.

204
00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:14,688
And that's that.

205
00:21:16,010 --> 00:21:19,924
This went really well, I think.

206
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:22,047
Good night.

207
00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:31,965
I'll sleep with you. I mean it...

208
00:21:33,450 --> 00:21:36,124
Seriously...

209
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:39,326
Are you...

210
00:22:27,130 --> 00:22:30,123